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Motivation-or the struggle to find it

     The other day I posted on FB, "I cannot even find motivation in my daughters eyes any more." There may have been some alcohol fuelling that statement, but I have found mind altering chemicals tend to augment, not create emotions.

     A good friend saw the post and expressed her concern. I told her that I was suffering from Diarrhea finger ... Just a bunch of shit flowing through my fingers onto the screen. She also suggested I might want to re-invent myself.

     Another friend suggested I spend more time writing. She said I might find my muse (not her words, but I took it that way).

     The best idea, and most undoable was to take a mini-vaca. Oh, that would be so nice, hop on The Grinner with only my camera and iPad...

     Well, the last one is most appealing because it encompasses the first two ideas and I get riding time! Unfortunately, the Grinner is broke down, and the daily grind will not allow me time to fix it.

     My friend Sheila, who is a writer/entertainer, had a great idea---write. All is takes is time and a little imagination. Well, I have the little imagination part down pat. Actually, I brought out an old story and restarted working it again, due to her suggestion. I plan on continuing it.

     About reinventing myself, you ask? I have tried that a few times and it never really works out well. Instead of evolving up, I seem to fall backward in the material world. Though my head, soul, or mind...whatever term you use to define ones' the essential being, has grown in very fulfilling ways.

     Fulfilling the material needs seems to get worse. The truth is, I have never really been finically solvent. But there was I time when I was able to pay all my debts and even have some left over for savings and A little fun.

     Nowadays, not so much.

     I just need to dig a little harder and find my muse---again.

olc

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