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Mom's Journey

Wow, I have been focusing my energies on this new project recently and completely ignoring ones which were already going on!

As you know, because you the reader are so loyal to this blog, I have been working on a new blog centered around the Greenhouse Moto Cafe, go on over and have a look. Also, my mother took a fall awhile ago and had to spend a long time at Stone Creek Rehab.

She is a tough old bird, I only hope I am as strong as her when I get there. When she was admitted to Stone Creek, she was awake and could hold a conversation. However, we all knew something was not quite right with her ability to think a thought through to its logical end. Also physically, the bruise on her left temple was still pretty profound and her left arm and shoulder were and are still incredibly weak.

When Mom was released from Stone Creek, both her and Dad were emotionally ready for it. I wonder if their need to "get home where she belongs," may have been premature from a physical therapy point of view. She is so weak.

At any rate though, she is at home and seems to be happier. Their church community brings dinner over for the next little bit, thus letting the two of them get settled into a routine. And there are lots of people coming and going, trying to establish a health program to help maintain Mom's (wait for it!)...Health! 

However, Mom and Dad want to live a quiet life with little distraction. For the moment though, this is not happening.

Dad and I talked a little about his concerns. If the conversation had a title it would have been, Concerns of the Primary Care Giver. Mostly I think, he just needed to let off some steam. He let me know that the invasion of their house was taking a toll on him. I could see it on his face, feel it in his body. After we had talked it through some, a light bulb lit over my head.

The truth is, I was not sure if he just needed to vent, or if he was looking for solutions for his angst. Being a fixer, I took a leap and tried to help him to ease into the new life style they are shifting into. Dad has a number of concerns which he mentioned, but the most important seemed to be the constant, almost revolving door-like, flow of new people who need to come in and help Mom. The perceived demands of the care-givers; when could they come by and help; the fact that these care-givers were giving both Mom and Dad directions on how to live and so forth, was taking a severe  toll on Dad.

After some more conversation, I realized that maybe they needed one day off from the physical therapy, the constant visits from car-givers, the woman, Carol is her name, who is helping Mom with her day to day routine and so forth. They need a day off from it all. They need some predictability in their daily life. I suggested they tell the world that Thursday would be their day, no appointments, no visits, no nothing.

I'm hoping Dad will be able to enforce this.

I wish I was able to say all is well in House Turner. There have been some profound changes in their life, ones which will forever impact them and their style of life. Mom is weaker than I have ever seen her. And Dad will have to learn how to compensate. Saying that, Dad is not 70 any more and is beginning to feel the limitations of nearly 90 years of living on this Earth. It is hard for them to accept help from anyone. After all, they have been doing fine over these many years, right?

I will play my role, as will Martha, and assist in every way I can.

I love you Mom and respect your fortitude. Dad, your quiet strength is so understated that sometimes we just accept it without understanding the toll it takes on you.


olc

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